


Just a Little Death

by Ghos-Tea (GhostJ)



Series: The Adventure Goofs [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Adorable, Episode Fix-it, Fluff, M/M, McElroy Pottymouth Warning, Stop Killing North America's Favourite Wizard Griffin, Taako Tuesday, close enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 11:04:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9437309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostJ/pseuds/Ghos-Tea
Summary: Taako’s totally over almost dying (well, maybe permanently dying a bit, if you gotta be accurate…) in Wonderland and just looking to spend some quality time with his boyfriend. So yeah K-Drama-Llama, that bit-dead-thang, no biggie, right?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ok – quick post, quick post. Yes, this is going to be Joss’ed (or Griffin’ed?) in about 3 days now. Although hopefully not the part where Taako makes it out of the current arc alive. Seriously Griffin, please stop trying to kill North America’s favourite wizard. 
> 
> **SPOILER WARNING** \- Pretty much assumes that something awesome happens immediately following the last episode (Episode 54 – Suffering Game pt 4) and everyone returns to the Moon Base in one piece (or you know, the condition they were in at the end of the episode). This fic assumes you are caught up to that point. 
> 
> As always, I own nothing of the characters you see here, only the situation; meaning this particular piece of ridiculous fluff is all up to me. 
> 
> Mostly beta-less as normal (if you are looking to beta – please let me know! I will knit you things! A tiny Merle plushie? A knitted wooden duck? Or you know – maybe a hat?), but partially beta'd by a dear friend of mine and it's all worth it for the comment "FINE, I'LL GIVE IT ANOTHER CHANCE!"
> 
> Also – yes the title is totally a pun. I’m not going to explain it, if you don’t get it – ask a cleric.

“So then I cast _True Seeing_ on Magnus and said ‘abra-ca-fuck-this-shit!’ cause the last thing I wanted to do was win that game, Sugar Lips, and I would have.” Taako snuggled further back into Kravitz's embrace on the couch and continued to recount the 'Très Horny Boys’ jaunt to Wonderland. “No joke my reaper man, I would have won even without Tasha’s Hideous Laughter. I mean, a) I’m Taako, and b) against those fuck-heads?!”

“Yes, it all sounds _awful_.” Kravitz's comment rumbled along Taako’s spine and Taako enjoyed the sensation, even if he wasn’t absolutely impressed with his boyfriend’s lack of awe at his exploits. “So far you’ve mentioned vogueing, the sad lack of pantsuits in your wardrobe, a multiplying electrified bear – which is indeed _dope_ \- , and that Magnus is now a silver fox. But that I shouldn’t feel threatened.”

“And you shouldn’t,” Taako assured him, _Well, at least he’s paying attention._ He waved a nonchalant hand to dismiss the notion, _ugh Magnus_. “I like the whole experienced _package_ , not just the curtains.” This comment, while _entirely_ true, had the added benefit of making Kravitz huff a laugh into the crook of his neck, which was all to plan. Kravitz, for all that he seemed unimpressed with the story’s content, appeared content enough to lounge on the common room couch, listening to Taako’s stories and working out the kinks in his hair. Both things which made Taako very hopeful that he’d been able to succeed at keeping Kravitz focused on the mundanities of Wonderland, rather than curious about any specific Taako related concerns. “Queen B’s lich entourage, wheel of fucking mortality, ...washing machine..., Merle leavin’ _another_ major body part behind – kudos to not having anything to do with this one my guy- , and Magnus getting 10 years closer to seniors coffee rates at fantasy McDonald’s.”

“Taako,” _Oh, oh_ _there’s the British accent._ “If you think for one minute that I don’t realise you are prevaricating…” Kravitz said as he tightened his arms around Taako’s waist and rested his chin on the elf’s shoulder.

Taako felt himself tense before he forced his body to relax. _And Merle always wasting his spell slots on Zone of Truth_ he thought, snorting out a laugh and shaking his head a little. He’d really thought it was working too, but his boo’s wisdom must be off the charts.

“Hardly, honey cakes,” Taako said as he dropped one hand to squeeze Kravitz's thigh, letting the reaper know he was acknowledging he’d been beat. “I mean, that second kidney’s just for show, am’I’right?”

“Taako…” Kravitz sounded a bit exasperated this time, but he still laced their fingers together as he picked up Taako’s hand from his lap. Taako let Kravitz lift his hand up towards his face, and hoped the other man wouldn’t comment on how his knuckles were almost white from how hard Taako was holding on.

“Alright my boi, I am officially slightly, just slightly, a bit permanently dead.” Taako concluded sounding sheepish, and hoping that Kravitz would let him get away with just that. Kravitz's hand immediately tightened on his own and the reaper tugged meaningfully. Taako showily complained as he let himself be manhandled until he turned around and straddling Kravitz's lap, _Ohhh interesting…_. “Ok, ok, no bruising the goods, my man.”

“Taako…” This time Kravitz's prompt ended on a groan as Taako finished seating himself with a, _completely necessary_ , wiggle.

“Sorry my squeeze, couldn’t help myself. Gotta take advantage of these high ‘ _rolls’_ as they come.” Taako said unabashedly, rolling his hips again and winking down at his lover, glad to feel a bit more in control of the situation. Kravitz groaned and shook his head in disbelief at Taako’s antics, bringing his hands to settle at Taako’s waist. Taako was fairly certain that Kravitz might even think that it was to help the wizard steady himself and might not even notice the way his fingers were tightening almost rhythmically on Taako’s hips as the elf caught his balance by grabbing Kravitz's arms. Magnus’ design for their common room couches, although very comfortable for watching Diners, Dungeons and Dives, had obviously not been built with the considerations that Taako would have taken for things like cushion depth… And hand holds.

“You’re slightly dead?” Kravitz's asked, a small British lisp still evident as he stared deep into Taako’s eyes. Taako nodded and looked away embarrassed, even though he knew Kravitz was just checking to make sure he hadn’t drunk the lich Kool-Aid. Of course, looking away meant that Taako was now looking down at his hands, or rather his boyfriend, underneath him and sans-cloak. _Oh myyy, it’s like a republican conference in Texas down there._

“If I knew what a gun was, that would be one hell of a show for them you got going on there.” Kravitz let out a snort of laughter, and Taako tore his eyes away from the display to see a faint blush crawling across Kravitz's cheeks. “Now now, you can’t be looking all cute and edible like that and expecting me to focus on any further questions unless the answers you want are ‘yes’, ‘more’ and ‘at least an hour, assuming Merle even remembers to take the cake to Magnus and doesn’t just break a tooth on the file'.”

Kravitz opened his mouth and snapped it shut immediately, shaking his head. “Right, well, you are now slightly dead?” Kravitz reiterated, sounding to Taako like he’d just stepped out of fantasy Eton.

“Only 14 HP worth,” Taako countered, even as he did his best to keep his ears from twitching in nervousness. “Everything important is still in fine, and I do mean _fiiiiiiiiiiine_ , working order. You better believe I checked first thang.” He kept going, _even if I ain’t the Magnus-rushes-in type, well, I’ve learned the hard way that a good attack makes up for a shitty cleric._ “What I’m saying my bony homie, is that you of all people can’t tell me that being a bit dead, _just a wee bit dead_ , is gonna be a problem for this relationsh..i.p.”

Taako let his tirade, _and he’d had a good one planned too_ , trail off. And then he wiggled a bit. And then he wiggled a bit more, but this time with purpose. Kravitz made a choked sound and, now that Taako was paying attention, his eyes fluttered shut, futher Taako noticed that Kravitz seemed in no hurry to remove his fingers from where they’d crept under the elastic of Taako’s pantyhose during his rant.

“You know,” Taako said, a thoughtful lilt to his voice. “This seems a bit 'take your work to the bedroom' if you get what I’m saying my bon-e-heart.”

“It’s nothing at all like that, Taako.” Kravitz said, annoyance clear in his tone. Taako gave him a look and wiggled again.

“Well, it’s not like that much?” Kravitz continued, in a slightly higher register and without any trace of British poshness. “I mean, rather, I have an… _awareness_ , let’s say, that assists me with my job. And although it’s been active around you previously, it’s never been quite this strong, or... focused, before.”

“Are we getting into some weird Twilight-shit up in here, my man?” Taako asked, a bit of a warning tone in his voice. The elf let his hands trail up along Kravitz's arms to rest on the other man’s chest. “No kink shaming from me, but Taako ain’t ready for you to be shopping for your white dress.”

“Trust me, although I greatly enjoy our time together, there’s no immediate need to ask Merle to interrupt the rather inadvisable jailbreak you are both attempting.” Kravitz assured him.

“Hey, _hey_. I have nothing to do with _any_ plan that dwarven idiot might have cooked up.” Taako swatted Kravitz's chest lightly, sending up a small poof of flour. “Taako is good out here, _really_ good out here right now as you might be able to tell and there’s no harm in a bit of baking to get the juices flowing.”

“Anyways,” Kravitz said, blithely ignoring the powder that settled across his nose, like he was set on ignoring the rest of the material dotting his shirt and particular areas of his jeans. “Knowing now where it’s coming from, it just adds a certain, _frisson_ , to the experience, if I’m being blunt. Although with the change to your… ah, _living_ status, there are things I should check in the records.”

“Like, now?” Taako couldn’t help it, he _whined_.

“No, not now.” Kravitz assured him, sliding a cool hand up under Taako’s shirt, causing the elf to yelp and jerk in reaction, further crowding against Kravitz's chest. “After all, undead wizards are my responsibility, so I would be remiss not to explore your unique situation in more depth first.”

“Oh yeah, baby,” Taako breathed, _someone just bonused the shit out of their seduction_. He looped his arms around Kravitz's neck and leaned down for a kiss. “Fuck, explore in _depth.”_

_“Attention - all security teams.”_

Taako lurched back as the Director’s voice, although still as calm sounding as ever, suddenly boomed overhead accompanied by a high pitched beeping alarm. _“Attention - all security teams, please move to the confinement dome.”_

Taako shared a disbelieving look of amazement, tinged with a healthy dash of sexual frustration, with Kravitz, as he moved to grab his umbrella and scramble off his boyfriend towards the door.

“One of those chuckle-fucks must have rolled a goddamned 20.” He groaned.

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of fun exposition below – includes my own ponderings on some non-confirmed plot points. Please don’t get annoyed if they are/aren’t accurate! **POTENTIAL SPOILER WARNING!!!**
> 
> So yeah, in my head cannon Magnus totally gets court martialed upon returning to the Moon (which he’ll do ‘cause… well… Magnus rushes in, yeah?) and so Merle hatches a grand fucking plan to smuggle Magnus a file into his jail cell, like you do. Taako helps out, even though the plan ‘can’t work, like at all’ but it gets Merle out of the apartment for the afternoon (helloooo Kravitz), so whatever he wanted to bake anyways. Of course, Merle manages to charm his way into cells and then, because a file is a carpentry tool, Magus has proficiency with it and basically ends up dismantling the jail dome with a single roll.  
> Secondary head cannon is that Kravitz isn’t actually sensing Taako, but rather the red robe. At this point though, Kravitz's senses are so messed up around Taako – with ‘feeling a lich, but not seeing one’, and with Taako giving a semi-logical explanation and possible sexy times, he’s kinda ‘yeah ok, sure, I’m not getting paid overtime for this, so work-life balance and all that’. So I completely imagine a very sheepish red robe standing beside the door and staring, pointedly, at the wall, waiting for someone to open the door so they can leave the room and really hoping everyone keeps their clothes on.


End file.
